Well once again my life seems to be back at its favourite phase,being in trouble and screwed up. Life has been kinda shit to me I guess. You would probably think: To get rejected and having to come to terms with new developments so quickly was bad enough? Well apparently not,because now its even worse that I gotta deal with the bf...  You,Mr bf,is starting to sound like ris low to me. Extremely obvious from your fb msg to me. "Oh I don't care about whatever shit happens to you,its all about her. Your sufferings don't count for shit as compared to what she is going through..." Am I right?

Well i said it before when I replied you and imma say it again. GIVE ME A BREAK. She is not the only one suffering. Sure you can't care less bout what i'm going thru,but the least you could do was to be slightly more sensitive. Too much to ask for I suppose. Those words you use in ur msg seriously piss me off lyk SHIT. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE GUTS TO TELL ME I HAVE BEEN PLAYING GAMES??? Look,I think you are the one who gotta think before you speak alright? If this has been a game it would never have lasted from March till now. I would have grown tired of her sarcasm towards me and "moved on" to look for a new 'target' to 'play with',according to your language,the way you define 'games'....

And you know what? I ain't gonna be doing this because I'm scared of you,but rather because I remember everything she said in the word document. I shall walk out,take a step backwards,a few if necessary. I shall disappear for awhile,but don't even think this is it. I'm gonna be back for my friend,that is for certain. However,if she personally asks (it can be sms,email,phone call,whatever) me to get out of her life,then I would have no choice but to oblige. Otherwise,nothing is going to stop me from continuing this plan of mine. Meanwhile I would really appreciate if you can constantly be by her side during this difficult period of time of hers,somewhere i'm not allowed into right now. Please revive that natural lively spirit of hers that seemed to be sucked out from her when all these happened... That is the only thing I ask of you right now.

Probably not gonna be updating this blog for a month at least. Till then,farewell!

"Triple X" Jackson out.

Its finally over! No more late nights,brain drains,and the teachers breathing down our necks!  I would like to believe that my presentation went well,and so was my Q&A. Only glitch was that I kept saying Cantonese when it should have been Peranakan.... Lol big mistake,but I think I managed to conceal it a little....

Speaking of teachers,Ms Tan only returned me my I&R this morning at 2.08am! I was like wth??? How am I supposed to change it now? So of course I didn't. I'm sick and tired of individual components,so I'm just gonna send it over tonight,no changes made whatsoever. PW is overrrrrr for me,totally..... =)

That of course was the good part. I ain't gonna talk about it here,will be at my tumblr instead. But just fyi I did myself in last night. I attempted something I was never good at,and it ended up as just that....

Moving on,Fact #3: I was nicknamed 'toilet teo' and 'urinal' back in primary school. Gosh this is so embarrassing but I shall continue.... I was,and still is,a water (excuse me) whore. I just had to drink,idk why but I just become thirsty very easily. And because of that I had to frequently ask for permission to go to the toilet. One problem was that back then I also had a weak bladder,just couldn't hold it in... I pissed my pants every other day as a result. Teachers got so pissed with my toilet 'antics' that they stopped me from going altogether,and you guessed it the cleaning auntie had to come into my class to clean up a few minutes later...... That was how my retarded nicknames were given to me.

Seriously I'm starting to think that I will not hit 10 facts about me. I think I'll just play on till I have nothing to share..... Anyway my music playlist has been updated with two brand new tracks. They are Tik Tok by Kesha and I can transform ya by Chris Brown. FYI my favourite 5 songs of the playlist are the first 5 that you'll see. So you can see how impactful Tik Tok has been to me,knocking Jay Sean's Down off my top spot. You really gotta love that song. It might not appeal on the first few times,but it'll surely grow on you after awhile. That song is making my personal record. It has officially been the only song on my iPod playlist for the past 72 hours already! No song has ever done that for me,not even Down. It therefore is worth a try. Alright chao.

"Triple X" Jackson out.

OMG my laptop is fixed!!!!!! So damn glad! Even all my ever so important documents (including that folder) have been retrieved! Turns out my laptop was heavily infected with viruses,mainly because I didn't install any security system within since I found it too lag.... Should have known better lol... 

Bloody hell my laptop finally gave up on me! Worse of all so many important documents are in there.... Including that departing folder of mine I dare not save in any memory storage device for fear of it being exposed.... But now I really pray that folder is going to be ok. Most of you except I think 4 people if i dun remember wrongly,will not know what I am talking about here,and I will leave it as that. Well at least that means I'm depending more on my i Pod to do the Internet surfing! Much more fun btw. It is however a total fail on Facebook because I cannot see live feeds or type out any status messages..... Why????? Aww man it really sucks luhhh.....

Wednesday was kinda like the most happening day of my life,so many things happened within a span of 24 hours.... By the time it was all over I was left in mixed state of being traumatized,pissed and yet thankful that it all actually happened.... Haha I know I'm not making sense here to some people haha,but really,that night taught me so much,and how a true friend who is like super understanding of you is so damn hard to find but I'm damn glad it happened to me,well for I think 3 times already,one in each of my academic institutions.... So the CJC one probably already knows who he/she is. (Thanks buddy =D) Well wee kang probably can be the fourth,but not yet haha,since he is frequently such an asshole to me,far more den being friendly lols.....

I really wanna thank God for helping me tide across that night with no mental breakdowns or anything... The time after the incident till now has been mostly spent on reflection,how lucky I have been to be able to settle this incident so quickly rather then wait for the end of next year,and how foolish I was to actually think that escaping from the truth would have been the best solution. This I should have listen when Kenneth told me so,but I was too damn stubborn(Sagittarius what) to take it in,and I insisted that I continue with my original plan... Lucky I didn't or I would have lost somebody ever still so important in my life....

So thanks Kenneth and you know who,you two have really made such positive impacts on my life with your words of advice and encouragement..... Kenneth,I know that as a friend I really suck,because most of the time you would be the ones who can understand me better than I would to you. I really think I'm a lousy friend to be with,but believe me I'm trying my best,to be more aware of what you are going through instead of complaining that you never told me earlier and why the heck I am the last to know,that kind of thing.

As for you,I somehow believe that God would have allowed us to meet in one way or another. =) Do not ever blame yourself for not telling me earlier,its perfectly fine ok? Anyway rest assured you will see a brand new me soon,and I can't wait for the time when we can spam nonsense  and discuss direct issues(e.g emotional stuff) so comfortably with each other. Left an email for you,hope you read and listen to it,and I'll see you on the particular day I mentioned inside,the deadline I give myself to return to normal.... Send me the stuff I asked for too!

Life is just so empty w/o that beloved laptop of mine. So many things are still in there! (sobs.......) Ok anyway I will be going to Malaysia this afternoon and will probably not be back till Sunday. So hopefully I will be able to go on msn there ok? E buddy on i Pod Touch just sucks. But hey, at least I can tell people I hold live chats on a mobile device right? =P

[Lord,I thank you for the wondrous friends in my life,and may you let me keep hold on tight to them and not lose them because of my moments of folly....]

"Triple X" Jackson out.

Well at least the OP run went much better den I expected. Ms Tay's comments for me were rather decent,so I'm pretty satisfied haha. Nothing much to talk about,but I've decided to try something. For 10 consecutive posts minimum,I will be posting up something about me you probably never knew about. I wanna know your reactions! So hopefully you guys would find me on msn or Facebook to ask me about it haha.

Alright since I've nothing to post today,here goes.

Fact #1: I was in choir back in primary school. Yes choir. I remember telling some of you before,but never mind I'll say it again. For the record I never intended to join,but one day in school the choir teacher-in-charge came to look for me and handed me a consent form to invite me into choir. WTH. And so I joined. After 2 years I just cannot take all the various coordination and tone crap,so I left. I sing conventional songs okay,singing those cheem symphonic songs just wasn't my type. Well at least I had a piece of good memory there. One national day celebration the choir was asked on stage to sing the national song of the year,which was Where I Belong. That has remained the favourite national day song of mine right up till now,even more liked by me than Home.

Oh btw the conventional song playlist will be up soon. I've got a rough idea of what to include already haha. Stay tuned!

Song dedication today: That girl by Frankie J featuring Chamillionaire. I know this is pretty old, but somehow it kept showing up on my shuffled playlists... Perhaps an indication to her? Haha I dun know... It can be found in the blog's hip hop playlist,so enjoy! Love the beatzzzzz man.....

"Triple X" Jackson out.

So sorry I did not manage to update the past few days. The stupid blogger just wouldn't let me sign in... Well at least there is something to note from yesterday. Chinese A levels are over! From now on they will never be another Chinese exam that we have to take! This is of course great news,except that its spoilt by the basic fact: It was hard. I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what the stupid questions were trying to say...

Anyway today is the day of our final OP dry run. I still haven't started memorizing my speech yet,so doomed... And IR is just as bad. Got back a 2/12. I mean I already half-expected a bad grade for it,but I just do not understand. Where have I actually gone wrong? I really have no idea! What Ms Tay said to me and my parents back when we had the PTM,I'll never forget. Now its playing all over in my head again. This is self-doubt man,but induced by someone who is supposed to be a motivator instead. Can't believe she actually tried to hint that I'm not meant to take science stream,and worse still,not even come to JC...

Sometimes when you are feeling down or have had a horrendous day,I would do my best to share your pain,and be more then willing about it. I just wanna be there for you for as long as I can manage. However deep down there will always be this part of me that will be happy and optimistic,hopeful that you are actually grieving over him,and that it was going to be the end of you 2... Of course my optimism is absolutely groundless,I'm just toying with my own mind,and maybe you should know that it really stinks. But you know what? I will continue to do so,continue to absorb myself in this virtual reality I have created,just for the sake of the hopes I'm harboring for you....

[Lord I need your guidance and comfort,because its really not easy for me now...]

"Triple X" Jackson out.

Haix I've not done anything for chinese over this past few days,just slacking around and playing even more games on facebook... The latest addition is mobsters 2... Lols just couldn't resist the numerous invitations that came along la,not that I wanted to start on purpose. One very successful game that I'm starting to like even more than mafia wars is war machine,which is way cooler as its all about warmongering.....

Ok I shall just stop here before I get too carried away... Its been 5 days since my parents have bought the iTouch,but I'm still not getting it yet! Seriously man,I really hope they pass it to me soon,I'm really going bonkers thinking about it constantly...

You know,this piece of paper has been in my room for 2 years now,and I still don't think I've managed to only achieve 2 of those characteristics,namely "li xiang" and "fen dou",which means aspirations and perseverance respectively. Aspirations is because I've planned out what I really wanna do in the future,and perseverance is probably my determination to try and win her heart(which is still very hopeless btw...). Hopefully more of these characteristics can temporarily apply themselves on me as I mug for the chinese A's tomorrow. Just temporarily,because I don't want to fall short of that elusive A grade for a second time. It has happened during the O's,and I really hope it doesn't happen again...

Of course,action speaks louder than words. So I'm just gonna go mug like mad right now. Who knows,you might not even see me online tonight! With that I shall take my leave. See you guys around,and I wish you guys all the very best for the paper tomorrow(except those who are not taking it at all,man you guys piss me off haha)!

"Triple X" Jackson out.