With the year coming to a close,I've decided,as I've mentioned,to junk the shit of 2009 outta my life. That said,I will now release a recording that I've made not too long ago,somewhere around the start of December. This is my cover of a song done by Lady GaGa,from her new album The Fame Monster. Its called Speechless,and I've pretty much changed at least 70% of the lyrics to suit my......well for lack of a better word,emotions. The original version by GaGa is here at Lady GaGa live at the Ellen Degeneres show
And here are my lyrics:

Haix guess I really can't post often anymore. My curfew is still on! And since school is about to resume,that means the curfew will last all the way till at least the june holidays. Great,just great... I will try my best to at least have 4 post per month la,will try....

Oh by the way congratulations. You have finally announced it out on facebook. Good for you,that you feel its fine to just let everyone know now. I've told him just about one too any times that I'm perfectly cool about you two being together. Well it looks like he has gotten over his fear and that's great. At least now things appeared to have toned down and everyone has taken a chill pill. I'm not sure about you though,since you haven't been communicating with me in any form since my birthday...

But my question stills stands,now that things have changed for the better,are you willing to have us revert back to the friends we used to be? Yeah yeah I know you said that its just a maybe. But since things are looking so good now,why can't we be active,and not horribly passive,friends again. I'm not a person seeking for all things impossible,this is something I'm sure can happen if you let it. We can always take it one step at a time,not instantly rush to crack up laughing with each other online. Bottom line: Its definitely possible.

So,what will your decision be? I won't give you a time limit,since you don't read my blogs anymore. I will start waiting from now onwards. And even if I still hear nothing from you,I will wait. I won't take action. I want you to be ready first. I'll be anticipating the day a message from you appears in my inbox. Positive or negative won't matter,as long as I know what your decision will be. Cheers.

"Triple X" Jackson out.

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/fataldestiny

Well I enjoyed myself thoroughly for the outing with some ig mates,namely diane jeanette zhi yong and nicholas. We went to play pool for about 1.5 hours,then went to pastamania for a 4pm dinner,then went for my first ever neoprints,then watched princess and the frog(retarded but interesting plot haha....),then walked along orchard road while snapping photos,then we went home. Wah a lot of "then"s hor.... But ya anyway that was a detailed and brief summary of what we did yesterday... Had a lot of fun! =)

There was just one problem though,and its a very big one. Almost every single area I traverse within Orchard Cineleisure,I was reminded of you. The pool centre reminded me of you,walking up the escalator to watch our princess movie reminded me of you. And heck,I was sitting in the very same theatre hall as the one where we were watching "love happens"! Luckily it wasn't the same seat or something,but it was close. Yesterday I was sitting at E-15,while I was sitting at F-16 the other time. And when we left the theatre we left through the very same exit and took the very same escalator route down all the way to the first floor...

Walking down orchard road and passing by all those students and volunteers peddling stuff brought you to my mind too,the time when you bought that flower-shaped balloon from one of my swiss cottage juniors. And the last thing that did it for me? There was a some kinda concert held by a church on the other side of the road,probably raising funds and all... Guess what song they were playing? Little Wonders by Rob Thomas,the song played during our JC1 End-of-year ceremony. We had discussed about this song before. You liked but didn't want me to send it to you because you said that such songs are only meant to be heard on special occasions. You had tagged its youtube video onto your profile page as well.....

You see how all that memory that comes back in a damn flash? I had already forgotten all these,cleared them out from my mind. I cleared them because I know I had to. I knew that its the only way that I'll ever regain the friendship that we once shared. Heck,I used to be able to recollect every damn thing you say whether on msn or face-to-face,but no more. But because of passing by so many familiar things yesterday,everything just came flooding back. Everything. So painful that I could hardly sleep last night...

So all of a sudden i'm asking myself,is it worth it for me to work so hard in order to salvage a close friendship that I'm not even sure you have any desire to recover any more? IS IT FUCKING WORTH IT?????? I know you said you will never read either one of my blogs again,and I believe it,because you are scared that YOUR bf will suffer another relapse and go into some fucking hysteria again... So i suppose i'm merely pouring my heart out here then....

FML seriously,I think I surrender....

"Triple X" Jackson out.

Just dropped by to say that I'm slightly high from two 330ml bottles of heineken.... Lol went to my uncle's house and he opened one for my dad. To stop him from drinking to much lest his hepatitis B acts up again,me and my mom drank it up,but it was mostly me.... Then suddenly another opened bottle arrived.... And so you know what I did.... But haha I love beer,and so I didn't actually mind lol.... =)

Anyways,I probably won't be updating so frequently as I have been the last time. Reason is because my dad confiscated my laptop charger,and only charges it up occasionally for me. I therefore am left with an idle useless laptop most of the time... So dun post on my tagboard asking why I never post luhhh..... Post something more productive! Like maybe suggest some songs to me for my playlist and all will ya? I write in such large fonts at the top of my tagboard somemore lei.... Aiyo some people don't get the hint haha....

Ok better run,battery's going flat... Unless I sneak into using my mom's com,guess you won't be hearing from me anytime soon... Alright chao.

"Triple X" Jackson out.

Ok it has officially been a month! Gonna post now... Guess I'm in a much better state then I have been a month ago. I used to be able to remember every little thing she says and all,and now I can scarcely remember them anymore. Flushing her out for the past month have been really effective huh? I went over to bukit timah nature reserves,went up to the stupid 162m summit,taking pictures with my dad's DSLR all the way. The sound of nature around me provided me release,and I definitely felt better from then on.

Also I've been running a little. Will go to the gombak stadium early in the morning and run whatever distance I feel like running. With my ipod as my companion,running just feels so good! Really clears my mind,if only temporary. But after doing for awhile now,bottom line is,I'm on the track to recovery and dong really well.

After all that has happened,I guess I'm just too tired to like someone again. Some of you who know me better are probably trying to clear your ears right now to check if you've heard wrongly.... But its true,I'm gonna be stopping for a while. I've had enough till at least after NS,since we all know what happens to most NSmen with girlfriends... I'm enjoying a pretty good life now,things really just seem so much clearer to me when you are not caught up with chasing somebody. I like that life now,and it'll be that way for some time to come.

Looks like not posting for a month has really helped. I can see the contrast between my previous few posts and this current one,and the difference is really remarkable. The Batam OCIP trip + my birthday celeb are notable events in the past month for me. Batam was indeed a fantastic way to end the year with T16! Same goes for my birthday celeb. But there are far too many details for both liao,so i'm not gonna mention it here. I will just say that they have both been awesome. =)

Anyway...... I've finally updated my damn mixpod player..... It screwed up on my google chrome,so had to download internet explorer to edit the playlist. See I go to great lengths to satisfy the people who come by blog just to hear my club trax ok? Haha anyway I've scrapped the top 3 idea,too shallow to express my current favourite songs. Therefore,I now have a top 10! The first 10 songs you see on the player are ranked accordingly. As you can see,after a bloody long month,Tik Tok by Kesha has slipped down to #3,while two songs have been introduced up there. #1 song is obvious to everybody I'm sure. Please la,who doesn't like Bad Romance right now? Its so friggin addictive! Speaking of which I bought her The Fame Monster album already,and its nice! Anybody wanna borrow? #2 may be somewhat unexpected,but yes,I'm in love with a song sung by a gay... Wth but its a nice song! Trust me,you'll get hooked on sooner or later haha. We all love a good gay that can sing... =D

That's all this time. I shall try to shorten my posts' length from now on,starting from this post. Alright chao.

"Triple X" Jackson out.