What should I say here? So much to mention but I've probably forgotten half of them while contemplating on this post haha.
Ok how about yesterday? School ended at 2,and then me and Charlotte stayed back to do our physics and chemistry holidays assignments. Yeah right. We were not doing,but copying wholesale! Haha ok Charlotte having "not copied a single hw since a very long time ago" decided that she would do abit and copy abit so that she won't feel so guilty haha. Me,being me,copied everything there is to be offered haha. Every few minutes she would go "oh my gosh i feel so guilty for copying!" We did this all the way till 4 before she had to go for vball training,which in fact started at 3. Some people are born a little slack haha =P
Actually we intended to talk about some stuff we have been waiting to discuss upon,including some stuff mentioned in my previous post. Just didn't have the time though,so we just did work all the way and crapping some. Today we also missed out the opportunity cuz she was clearing up the remaining physics papers. Tomorrow got another double break no more excuses okayyyyy..... We gonna talk some chimology issues and try to resolve them....
And after dinner on the same day I spoke to my parents about the karishma thing. They just told me to forget it,and reminded me that its not gonna be worth trying so hard since its impossible for me to be on the same "frequency" as everyone else if you get my drift. This is very true. I mean no matter how fucking hard you try sometimes,when ppl dun lyk u,they just dun. And its vice versa as well. They told me just continue to be myself,and that its perfectly fine to just stick with that small and familiar group of people i'm with. Its just much more impt to be comfortable rather than forcing myself. And needless to say they confirmed with my thoughts that I was naive to think others would be at least trying to work on better relations with me as a classmate and so on. So i've decided to just remain at the anonymous status i'm at with most of the class now,and try not to dwell upon that anymore. Its just a heck lot better being yourself and understanding what your friends are talking about instead of scratching my head all the time wondering they are talking about.
So I really wanna Thank God for my parents,for being there to listen to me and talk to me with much more patience then they usually have with me. It has really been awhile (like a few months I think) since we've had talks like this together,all 3 of us. So i'm really grateful for that. =) Somehow we 3 used to have the same problems before. Me and my mom are the ones who often try so damn hard to fit in. Then all 3 of us often play the role of the "backstage crew". By some weird logic,people somehow think that the 3 of us are easier to ask favours from and kinda bully in that sense. We do it for them and ask for nth in return. In turn they are not only grateful but kinda asked for more favours......you get the idea. And in my case those people who asks for favours are people who i dun rlly talk to or are not exactly close to in class. Somehow "Eugene" is a name that has such a nice ring to it that people immediately think of me when they need sth done,when they regularly dao me in the 1st place. All 3 of our lives are gonna go on like that,as the "servants" of people who barely gives a hoot about our life or death?
Even though I say this now,when someone else asks me,I'd probably relent,and do it for that person willingly,as I've always for other ppl's task. Guess its just the way my life's meant to be. If that's the way God has appointed me in life,I shall gladly accept it. But I shall try my best to also live my own life,and not live it for others,for that would be pointless.
Seems to me like I've been very reflective lately. Oh well its probably good la. Goodnight ppl,God bless y'all.... =)
"Triple X" Jackson out.
