Well I enjoyed myself thoroughly for the outing with some ig mates,namely diane jeanette zhi yong and nicholas. We went to play pool for about 1.5 hours,then went to pastamania for a 4pm dinner,then went for my first ever neoprints,then watched princess and the frog(retarded but interesting plot haha....),then walked along orchard road while snapping photos,then we went home. Wah a lot of "then"s hor.... But ya anyway that was a detailed and brief summary of what we did yesterday... Had a lot of fun! =)
There was just one problem though,and its a very big one. Almost every single area I traverse within Orchard Cineleisure,I was reminded of you. The pool centre reminded me of you,walking up the escalator to watch our princess movie reminded me of you. And heck,I was sitting in the very same theatre hall as the one where we were watching "love happens"! Luckily it wasn't the same seat or something,but it was close. Yesterday I was sitting at E-15,while I was sitting at F-16 the other time. And when we left the theatre we left through the very same exit and took the very same escalator route down all the way to the first floor...
Walking down orchard road and passing by all those students and volunteers peddling stuff brought you to my mind too,the time when you bought that flower-shaped balloon from one of my swiss cottage juniors. And the last thing that did it for me? There was a some kinda concert held by a church on the other side of the road,probably raising funds and all... Guess what song they were playing? Little Wonders by Rob Thomas,the song played during our JC1 End-of-year ceremony. We had discussed about this song before. You liked but didn't want me to send it to you because you said that such songs are only meant to be heard on special occasions. You had tagged its youtube video onto your profile page as well.....
You see how all that memory that comes back in a damn flash? I had already forgotten all these,cleared them out from my mind. I cleared them because I know I had to. I knew that its the only way that I'll ever regain the friendship that we once shared. Heck,I used to be able to recollect every damn thing you say whether on msn or face-to-face,but no more. But because of passing by so many familiar things yesterday,everything just came flooding back. Everything. So painful that I could hardly sleep last night...
So all of a sudden i'm asking myself,is it worth it for me to work so hard in order to salvage a close friendship that I'm not even sure you have any desire to recover any more?
IS IT FUCKING WORTH IT?????? I know you said you will never read either one of my blogs again,and I believe it,because you are scared that YOUR bf will suffer another relapse and go into some fucking hysteria again... So i suppose i'm merely pouring my heart out here then....
FML seriously,I think I surrender....
"Triple X" Jackson out.
