So sorry I did not manage to update the past few days. The stupid blogger just wouldn't let me sign in... Well at least there is something to note from yesterday. Chinese A levels are over! From now on they will never be another Chinese exam that we have to take! This is of course great news,except that its spoilt by the basic fact: It was hard. I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what the stupid questions were trying to say...
Anyway today is the day of our final OP dry run. I still haven't started memorizing my speech yet,so doomed... And IR is just as bad. Got back a 2/12. I mean I already half-expected a bad grade for it,but I just do not understand. Where have I actually gone wrong? I really have no idea! What Ms Tay said to me and my parents back when we had the PTM,I'll never forget. Now its playing all over in my head again. This is self-doubt man,but induced by someone who is supposed to be a motivator instead. Can't believe she actually tried to hint that I'm not meant to take science stream,and worse still,not even come to JC...
Sometimes when you are feeling down or have had a horrendous day,I would do my best to share your pain,and be more then willing about it. I just wanna be there for you for as long as I can manage. However deep down there will always be this part of me that will be happy and optimistic,hopeful that you are actually grieving over him,and that it was going to be the end of you 2... Of course my optimism is absolutely groundless,I'm just toying with my own mind,and maybe you should know that it really stinks. But you know what? I will continue to do so,continue to absorb myself in this virtual reality I have created,just for the sake of the hopes I'm harboring for you....
[Lord I need your guidance and comfort,because its really not easy for me now...]
"Triple X" Jackson out.
